The other day, I found myself astonished as my bubbly, handsome 1-year old giggled uncontrollably at the silliness of my erratic mood switch, completely oblivious to the passage of time and how mummy was flipping over because he wouldn’t stay still long enough to change his diaper.

He wanted to keep playing. I wanted to stop.

He wanted to keep giggling and kicking. I wanted a smooth sail — to be efficient and done quickly.

It should only take a few minutes to change him, right? Surely, this was no David and Goliath war. There were no weapons of warfare. No stones to throw. No armor. No shield.

Just I and my little baby boy alone in that room.

Come on, this can’t be hard, I thought. Sing his favorite song, wipe quickly, and finish up nicely.

Apparently, someone else had different plans. Baby boy was having none of that.

His giggles increased, matching every bit of my fluctuating, transient feelings. His joy became more obvious. Alas, my impatience grew bigger. I was happy one minute, and irked the next. Exactly when the switch of mood happened, I cannot tell you, but it was accompanied by a sporadic flip of my tongue. “Can you stay still?” I mouthed.

Squeals of laughter paid me no mind. I squeezed my eyebrows until I looked around the room and realized no one else really cared that I had changed my temperament. He was still laughing. Still joyful. Still bubbly. Still his giggly little self!

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A Little Bit of Butter, A Little Bit of Sugar…

Our sweet hearts as women are (most times) prone to unpredictability. Women are such emotional creatures. We can be laughing one minute and miserable the next. We are strong and then weak. Passionate and then phlegmatic. Open and closed; hot and cold; sweet and sour. A little bit of butter and a little bit of sugar. It’s why they say, “Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.”

Dear Unpredictable Heart

…you may be an emotional darling — battling with trying to keep your head straight most of the time.

I want to give you just one good reason why your moody feelings don’t affect the big picture.

Why should you care? You should care because this knowledge will change the way you think about your life, your emotions, and your journey as a Proverbs 31 woman. It will cause you not to jump into unpredictable emotions every so often. To worry less and to have gratitude more.

Won’t you allow me to speak to your heart for a little bit? This is the one thing God has been teaching me for some time…and here’s it.

“God sees the vantage Point and your emotions cannot change His view.”

That’s it!

Nothing more, and nothing less. He sees it all! He was there before you were and has already been where your feet have not tread. He sees the bigger picture and you have the limited view.

“You have searched me, Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise…where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there…If I say, “Surely, the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to You. The night will shine like the day for darkness is as light to You.”  Psalm 139: 1-2, 7-8, 11-12.

The other day in that room, I wanted speed and efficiency, but God gave me the gift of “a moment.” A moment to look at my son through the eyes of joy. A moment to laugh. To sing. To stop thinking about things that matter less. A moment to stop everything I was doing and just enjoy being.

God has already seen the end from the beginning. So He won’t fidget when you cry. He won’t be moved when you shake your fists. He will not have a mental break-down when things don’t go your way. Because ultimately, He can see what you cannot see. And His plans for you are better than you can ever imagine.

If only you can just trust Him in the middle of the heat, you will be able to find the strength to look up and say, “Dad, you alone can see what I cannot see, so I leave it up to you.”

As a human, you are allowed to switch your emotions anytime. Yes, that’s human. But you cannot switch God. And you cannot switch what is. In the face of adversity, don’t lose it all. Speak to the situation and let your words frame your world. Permit yourself to be erratic only but for a moment, but don’t lose it. Be angry for a second, but don’t lose it. At the back of your brain, you’ve got to know how big your God is. Sometimes, it just takes guts to know Him and to ACT like you know Him.

Happy month of July, dearies. “This is the month where we get to transition from Grace to Grace.”

I hope this encouraged you. Don’t let any transient feelings affect the bigger picture. Till the next one, XOXO.